ONE-OFF CHARACTERS: SEASON TWO, PART TWO

Whew, that last list was getting long! Season Two has a way more prominent characters, so let’s continue where we left off with part two and dig into the unimportant losers that had the misfortune to cross Rick and Morty’s path.

The Victims of Rick’s Spaceship

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First Appearance: “The Ricks Must Be Crazy”

Before Rick leaves for the Microverse to check his car battery, he orders his ship to protect Summer at all cost. Much to her horror, the ship has no moral center and will use any method to keep her safe. The ship first cuts a man into square chunks, then paralyzes another man’s legs after Summer tells it not to kill anyone.

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Summer commands the ship not to resort to physical violence, forcing it to use emotional manipulation when police surrounds them. The ship scans them until it finds one to exploit, using a Gestate Pod to recreate his son who died in an unfortunate accident. The police officer is overwhelmed with guilt and traumatized when his cloned child melts into a gooey mess right before his eyes. This is enough to keep the cops at bay, but does little for Summer’s sanity.

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The Tree People

First Appearance: “The Ricks Must Be Crazy”

The Tree people are an indigenous tribe that dwells in the forest of the Microverse. Fed up with Rick and Zeep’s bickering, Morty leaves them and joins up with the tribe. There he spent months learning their ways: the Tree People have no leader among themselves, following only the will of the forest and worshipping the Spirit Tree, Koo’ Allah. They also practice a cannibalistic tradition of eating every third baby because they believe it makes fruit grow bigger.

Though it seems Morty has adapted to their lifestyle, he hates every moment of it and eventually forces the two scientists to work together so they can get out of their predicament.

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Telepathic Spiders

First Appearance: “The Ricks Must Be Crazy”

In an alternate Earth, giant telepathic spiders roam the planet. Unfortunately they’re not friendly and have constantly been at war with humans, using their telepathy to lure people into their webs for consumption.

Rick’s spaceship is the one who brokered a peace between the two species, all in a grand gesture to keep Summer safe.

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Toby Matthews

First Appearance: “Big Trouble In Little Sanchez”

Toby Matthews is a boy Summer has a crush on, but whom she thinks would never notice a girl like her. That is, until Tiny Rick (Rick in a teenage body of himself) hangs out with him. Toby instantly warms up to the little dude and that in turn causes him to notice Summer. The two date for a while, but when Summer and Tiny Rick get into an argument after the former gets him expelled, Toby is disappointed with her actions.

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The Vampire Council

First Appearance: “Big Trouble In Little Sanchez”

Somewhere on Earth, a vampire council lurks in an ominous castle. Their leader prepares for the night while his assistant informs him of Coach Feratu’s death in the hands of Tiny Rick and his grandkids. The leader is incredulous that Coach Feratu chose an obviously dumb pun for his name, especially given his real name was Belos Alistair. I mean, what kind of moron would give away his identity so easily like that?

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Dr. GleepGlop

First Appearance: Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate

Dr. GleepGlop is the best doctor in the alien hospital the Smiths and Rick took a sick Jerry to. Jerry is struck with a mutant bacteria Rick had hidden in a Cherry Garcia (Rick’s defense: the second shelf of the fridge is technically his) that makes anyone aggressive if exposed. Predictably, Jerry pukes all over Dr. GleepGlop, sending him into a mad frenzy. Rick shoots him dead, defending himself by saying every hospital supposedly has the “best doctor.” Jerry is successfully cured later on, so perhaps he’s right!

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Jerry is treated by another alien doctor who later proposes a donation of his genitals to save Shrimply Pibbles’ life. Fortunately, this one doesn’t perish.

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Condescending Old Alien

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

Jerry is offered a chance to save the most important diplomat in the known universe, but he must donate his goodies in order to do so. He is reluctant, prompting an old alien to butt in with sagely anecdotes. Presumably a patient at the hospital, the alien talks about his experience with various lifeforms across the galaxy and comes to the conclusion that Earthlings are a race dominated by the male genitalia. This condescension of his home planet gives Jerry the push he needs to go through with it, even if it raises a whole level of complication afterwards.

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Eyeholes Man

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

The Eyeholes Man is a blue-skinned jerk donned in a superhero costume who burst into people’s house and physically assaults anyone with eyeholes; his logic pertains that only he can have eyeholes. The whole thing turns out to be a commercial for Eyeholes cereal, a product you still don’t want to be caught dead with as Eyeholes Man will crash through your window and beat you senseless. Poor Jerry learned that the hard way.

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How-Did-She-Get-There Lady

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

A lady with a possible tumorous growth on her face causes Morty to look on in confusion, unaware if she has a condition or is an alien. Mere seconds after Morty looks away, the lady ends up in a game show called How Did They Get There. The premise involves involuntary contestants suddenly finding themselves elsewhere with no idea how they got there. In this case, she was at a coffee stand in the hospital before somehow being teleported on top of a headlight.

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Jan Michael Vincents

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

In a world where there are eight Jan Michael Vincents and sixteen quadrants, the Jan Michaels must find a way to get to all sixteen before it’s too late.

Morty has no idea who Jan Michael Vincent is.

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Stealy

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

Stealy is a short, yellow-skinned man with comically long arms and too many pockets on his vest. True to his name, Stealy pilfers whatever items he can stuff in them, often mundane, everyday objects. He has no problem barging into public places to swipe any goods he sees, including at one point, a human man.

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Comedian Singer

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

This mild-mannered comedian hosts the show Funny Songs where he improves a song based on whatever the audience suggest. After he’s done, the comedian sics his security guards and demons at the participant. Not so mild-mannered now, huh.

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L’il Bits Host

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

This man is the comically big-headed owner of the L’il Bits Restaurant, a place that serves extremely tiny foods. It sounds perfect for folks on a diet who refuse to give up ice cream.

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Michael and Pichael Thompson

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

Michael and Pichael Thompson are a pair of conjoined brothers who each host an individual TV show. Michael is a news reporter while Pichael is a celebrity chef. Both of them work simultaneously on the same set (just divided for their specific shows), leading to arguments and complications when one always ends up tugging the other. Summer seems to be the only one to realize the issue would be resolved if they worked on their individual series at different times.

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Personal Space Man

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

This man looks and acts like a normal guy, but he’s really into personal space, so much even his own skin is butting in, forcing him to rip it off his body.

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Octopus Man

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

Octopus Man was a marine biologist who was bitten by an octopus, transforming him into a half-man, half-octopus abomination. Now he uses his powers to save the world, preferably by stabbing people violently with a knife.

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Butthole Ice Cream Man

First Appearance: “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate”

The host of Butthole Ice Cream parlor is a yellow alien who owns a store that serves ice cream that comes out of butthole-shaped machines. It’s as gross as it sounds, but his soothing voice makes it so inviting.

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The Storyteller

First Appearance: “Look Who’s Purging Now”

When Rick and Morty are stranded on a Purge Planet, they are given shelter by one of the natives who refuses to partake in the barbaric tradition. The only condition for their invitation is for Morty to listen to one of his stories. Morty quickly discovers the Storyteller’s “tale” is a terrible screenplay he wrote.

Morty offers some constructive criticism, but the Storyteller is offended and orders the duo out of his house. Already frustrated with recent events, this forces Morty to kill the man, potentially sparing the universe from another bad movie.

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Pat and Donna Gueterman

First Appearance: “The Wedding Squanchers”

Pat and Donna are Tammy’s impossibly good looking parents. They have no objection to their teenage daughter marrying a clearly middle-aged bird alien. Birdperson is a decent guy, but that is a seriously open-minded commitment.

Course, we later find out Tammy is a double agent for the Galactic Federation and her parents are really robots posing as her father and mother.

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Cybernetic Photographer

First Appearance: “The Wedding Squanchers”

This cyborg can snap pictures with his face instead of using a camera, but it requires him to intensely stare at the people he is shooting. This forces him to warn people in advance so he doesn’t come off as weird, even though it’s still pretty unsettling.

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Screaming Sun

First Appearance: “The Wedding Squanchers”

And you thought the Angry Sun from Super Mario Bros. 3 was bad, at least it won’t scream at you for forty hours. The Smiths and Rick are forced to run from the Galactic Federation, so they seek other Earth-like planets since they can’t return home. One of them hosts this solar shouter, prompting the Smiths to turn tail and fly elsewhere. But at least it’s not the dreaded Cob Planet!

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