PRINCIPAL VAGINA

Status: Tertiary Character
First Appearance: “Pilot”
Voice Actor: Phil Hendrie

Principal Vagina is the head of Harry Herpson High School. An average educator, he handles his job with a relatively cool head. He’s a well-adjusted man in spite of his insecurities, crushing divorce with his ex-wife, and unfortunate last name.

Principal Vagina is an unimportant reoccurring character, but he played a big role in “Get Schwifty’s” subplot. When giant alien heads invaded Earth, they caused worldwide natural disasters as they demanded the planet to “show them what they got.” Gene took it upon himself to reject Chrisitiany and declare the Heads as their new lords. He created the religion Headism and transformed his neighborhood into a simpler, albeit horribly antiquated zone. Whoever subverted his views would be tied to balloons and cast upwards in the hopes the Giant Heads would inhale them and sneeze out newborn, “better babies.”

Eventually the townsfolk realized the Giant Heads only arrived as part of an intergalactic musical reality show and their entire approval and dismissal were not directed to their religion. Principal Vagina held onto whatever power he had, but the rest of the neighborhood reined him in. And so endeth the brief rise of Headism and whatever dignity Gene Vagina had.

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