Ep #: 7
Air date: Mar. 10th, 2014
Synopsis: Morty accidentally conceives an alien son and raises him as his own. Elsewhere, Summer tags along with Rick for an adventure.
Rick argues with the owner of an alien pawn shop while a bored Morty wanders the store. His interest spikes when his eyes gleam over a sexy robot. He nervously approaches Rick and tries to convince his grandfather to buy it as an act of goodwill for putting up with his adventures, claiming he’d like a “souvenir.” Rick sees right through Morty’s horny desires, but hashes out a deal with the alien dealer and purchases the sex doll.
The rest of the Smith family is visibly uncomfortable with Morty’s not-so-subtle free time with “Gwendolyn.” Jerry thinks it’s unacceptable for Rick to buy his grandson a sex doll, but Beth counters that Morty is going through puberty. A panicked Morty interrupts and asks for Rick’s assistance. Thankfully, it’s not what you think: his sex doll merely transformed into a flying ball and Morty wants Rick to get to the bottom of it. Rick pins the ball down, prompting the rest of the family upstairs after hearing what they assume are inappropriate noises. To their shock, the pod squeezes a pink alien out. Rick examines the doll, revealing its true purpose as an incubating baby maker. The child is Morty’s son.
No one is sure what kind of alien the baby is, but Rick thinks it has the potential to be deadly. Rick being Rick, he’ll fix it the only way he knows how: shoot it dead. Jerry, Beth, and Summer all step in because you don’t just shoot a baby! To his credit, Morty takes full responsibility to father the child, naming him Morty Jr. An exasperated Rick takes the sex doll to his lab.
Summer approaches Rick who has since traced the robot back to Planet Gazorpazorp. He plans to send Morty Jr. back to his homeworld. Summer asks if she can tag along, but Rick declines since he doesn’t take “chicks” on his adventures. Rick opens a portal to Gazorpazorp while Summer calls him out on his blatant misogyny. A massive alien hand swoops in from the portal and kidnaps her. Rick saves his granddaughter before she becomes the unfortunate victim of a vicious mating session. Summer wants to go home, but one of the Gazorpians destroys Rick’s portal gun, trapping the two.
Morty’s only been a teen parent for what amounts to a couple of hours and already Beth and Jerry complicate things. They may have experience in the field, but neither of them can agree on anything. They argue with each other until Morty steps in. He’s the parent, he’ll take care of Morty Jr. Cynically, Beth and Jerry both agree that Morty will ruin the kid’s life.
Rick has quickly taken over Gazorpazorp, commanding its inhabits to bring him broken sex dolls that are scattered throughout the land. He’s been using their parts to build another portal gun, though it’s slow going. Summer is flabbergasted this world only houses men and brainless ones at that. No way a species this dumb could build sex robots to impregnate and populate the planet. Rick theorizes the Gazorpians had evolved past the need for women, ridding them so only sex robots exist to keep their species going. Summer is bemused by the thought.
A giant spaceship in the shape of a head flies down and drops numerous sex dolls to the Gazorpians. They quickly mate with them until a handful transform into balls and fly back to the ship. Rick and Summer hitch a ride on one to get off-planet. Rick thinks Gazorpazorp has a hidden ruling class that dominate and maintain the species. Two of them approach the humans, revealing themselves to be female Gazorpians. While they’re civilized, the women have a particular disdain for men. They force-choke Rick for being one, only willing to spare him if he is revealed to be Summer’s slave. She plays along to save Rick’s life.
Morty Jr. has grown enough to say his first word, “Death.” Morty is a tad concerned.
Summer and Rick are taken to the female Gazorpian home world, a paradise for women where someone is always there for you and shopping malls litter every corner. Their ruler, Ma-Sha, explains that all the women left the men during the Great Passive-Aggression, disdainful of the opposite gender’s violent ways. They send robot substitutes to continue their species. Any females born are kept in their world while men, in Ma-Sha’s own words, “go out to play.” Unfortunately, this had the side effect of embodying harmful stereotypes of their respective sex.
Rick and Summer also learn that a male Gazorpian can grow to adult size within a day, a cause for concern since one of them is inhabiting Earth. Rick brings this up, but Summer is forced to slap him when the Gazorpians notice he’s speaking out of turn, though she takes glee in doing so. Rick retaliates by letting out a massive fart that everyone within proximity hears. Offended, Summer accidentally calls him “Grandpa”, causing the Gazorpians to realize he is not her slave and that Earth is yet another in a long line of patriarchy oppression. Rick retorts that men and women are equal back home, though Summer correctly notes women are still stigmatized. The Gazorpians respond by force-choking them.
Morty Jr., now a toddler, increasingly expresses his desire for murder by drawing gruesome pictures. Morty tries to distract him, but Morty Jr. wants to go outside and rain down upon his enemies. In a bid to keep him inside, Morty convinces his son that the air is poisonous for him. When Junior asks why, Morty flips out, scaring the child away.
Summer and Rick are taken to trial and sentenced to death. Rick apologizes to Summer for his behavior and as a final act of sincerity, compliments her new top. This gives Summer an idea: she tells the Gazorpians the top they adored on her is made by a man, therefore they should be set free. Separating genders may work for the Gazorpians, but on Earth, men and women intermingle because that’s what works for them. Ma-Sha doesn’t understand, but respects their culture and releases them.
Morty catches his now teenage son smoking in the living room. He attempts to punish him, but Morty Jr. doesn’t care. Stuck home with a severe need to kill, Junior is a box of dynamites waiting to be lit up. Father and son argue until Morty strikes the match and angrily pushes him. Morty Jr. is shocked his own father would do that, comically ignoring the massive bulk he has on his old man. Morty apologizes, but it’s not enough for Junior. Fed up with his dad, he takes his chances outside. The air isn’t poisonous after all; his life has been a lie. He runs down the street stark raving mad. Morty begs his own father for a ride so he can find his son.
Free to pursue his urges, Morty Jr. starts destroying the town. Morty and Jerry follow the trail of destruction to locate him. An enraged Morty Jr. nearly kills the two with Jerry’s car, but Morty calms him down. Rick arrives in time to finish what he started. Morty shields his son, telling Rick he’d have to shoot him first to get to his child.
Touched by his father’s love, Morty Jr. drops everything and surveys the damage he created. Morty and his son talk it out. Junior needs to find a creative way to channel his urges somehow. Suddenly, Brad Anderson, creator of the comic strip, Marmaduke, barges in. He tells Morty Jr. that he faces violent urges everyday, so he directs it all towards his work. Morty Jr. decides to do the same. He tells his father it’s time for him to get a place of his own, but promises to call when he needs money or to do laundry.
Summer asks if Rick learned anything about women from this experience. He claims to have learned nothing. However, Rick has newfound respect for his granddaughter, enough to give her the keys to the alien ship they used to get home.
The stinger ends with Morty Jr., now an old man, being interviewed. He’s since become a writer and his autobiography, My Horrible Father, is a New York Times bestseller. Morty is uncomfortable that his terrible parenting is public knowledge, but Beth informs him being a parent is a thankless job.