Ep #: 8
Air date: Mar. 17th, 2014
Synopsis: Rick entertains the family by installing their TV to pick up channels from all over the multiverse.
The Smith family is immersed with The Bachelor except Rick. The latter is bored of regular Earth TV, so Jerry challenges him to find a television show Rick loves so that they can make fun of it. Rick accepts and installs an alien crystal on their cable box, giving the Smiths access to thousands of channels from various multiverses.
Rick demonstrates the infinite possibility of alternate television, showing ridiculously weird concepts like sentient corn cops, a movie about a man eating his own poop, violent Antique Roadshow, an alternate universe where Jerry is a famous movie star, and a teddy bear making a spider-web. My personal favorite is the alternate Game of Thrones where everyone BUT Tyrion Lannister is a little person.
The Smiths family quickly tells Rick to go back a channel with the alternate Jerry, but Rick misreads their intent until they get agitated. They find something better though: Jerry playing Tom Hank’s role in Cloud Atlas. Rick doesn’t see what the big deal is, but the Smiths won’t stop pestering him about it. He hands them a high tech goggles that scans their retina to match their DNA and reveal the many infinite results of their various multiverse selves. Jerry, Summer, and Beth are all over it, but Morty chooes to stay with Rick so they can marathon the interdimensional television.
“Rixty Minutes” is an experimental episode where half of it are composed of skits improvised from the Rick and Morty crew. Thus, I’ll be comprising a list of the major shorts.
*Ants In My Eye Johnson is a man selling various appliances and stored goods. The big difference is that the seller in question literally has ants crawling over his eyes. He is also impervious to pain, which does not bode well when an appliance sets him on fire.
*An ad for a car that is able to travel underwater and sneeze when you honk the horn.
*Alien Invasion Tomato Monster Mexican Armada Brothers Who Are Just Regular Brothers Running In a Van From An Asteroid And All Sorts of Things The Movie AKA Two Brothers – a movie trailer starring two brothers fighting off exactly what the title says. Combines everything you know about brainless action movies and being way honest with its premise.
*Ball Fondlers – Another action-heavy movie trailer or television show in the vein of the A-Team with enough explosives to put Michael Bay to shame. Highlights include an anthropomorphic alligator and a poorly drawn man piloting a helicopter.
*Saturday Night Life – Starring a Piece of Toast, two guys with handlebar mustaches, A man painted silver who makes robot noises, Garmanarnar, three…uh, uh, uh, uhhhh…he’ll get back to that one, a hole in the wall where the men can see it all, and returning for his twenty-fifth consecutive year, Bobby Mortimer. (Apparently, Mortimer and Piece of Toast hate each other; something about creative differences.)
*A commercial of a man selling fake doors. When he’s done, Rick and Morty watch the man go home, get stuck in traffic, and make a sandwich…where he proceeds to sell more fake doors. It’s still the commercial.
*Gazorpazorpfield – A Garzorpian version of Garfield where Lorenzo Music is still alive to voice the cat. This Garfield also really, really hates Jon.
*An anti-marriage ad for Trunk People, people with trunks for noses who are involved with both men and women. After, there is a pro-marriage ad for Trunk People.
*Quite possibly the most demented of the shorts, an Expy of Lucky from the Lucky Charms cereal – Top Hat Jones – is trying to eat his meal in peace. Until the kids, complete with stone dead eyes and creepy gazes, literally strap him down and violently disembowel him, eating the cereal right out of his open stomach as the Leprechaun cries out in pain.
*A sexually-charged ad for Turbulent Juice which is designed to clean up appliances and furniture.
*Baby Legs – A buddy cop show where a middle aged man with a literal pair of baby legs is forced to team up with Regular Legs and learn the power of friendship.
*Last Will and Testimeow: Weekend at Dead Cat Lady’s House II – Directed by Alternate Jerry, it’s about an old cat lady who passes away, forcing her nine cats to move her corpse around. Through their action, the old lady secures a job and meets a handsome young man who falls for her. It’s nauseating and for Rick and Morty, that’s saying something! To top it off, it’s rated G.
The subplot deals with the Smiths’ obsession with their better alternate selves. Jerry’s life as a movie star has taken him to new heights where having sex with Kristen Stewart and doing cocaine with Johnny Depp is a regular occurrence. Beth achieves her dream as a surgeon for humans instead of horses. But when Summer dons the goggles, she sees nothing. Beth claims she might not have been born if she and Jerry are living their dreams. Summer tries to find a timeline where she exists and finds her life is about as exciting as dried bread: they play Yahtzee.
Beth regrettably tells Summer when two people have a child, they put their lives on hold to raise it. This leads to an argument between her and Jerry, thinking they’re blaming each other for not getting an abortion and missing out on the fame and fortune they could have had instead. It heats up until both parents take it out on Summer, blaming her birth for their terrible lives. Summer does not appreciate this and tells them off, saying they shouldn’t be together if they’re not going to be happy together. Fed up, Summer announces she’s moving out of the house, vowing to make better judgment at her age than either of her parents did when they were seventeen.
Beth and Jerry have a moment of clarity, realizing they only stayed together for the sake of their kids. With the oldest leaving, they wonder what if anything they believed in was true. Either they try to stay for each other or divorce.
Later, Jerry breaks the bad news to Rick and Morty that he and his wife will be spending time apart and that Summer was an accident. The latter is news to Morty, so he quietly ventures to Summer’s room. His older sister is in the middle of packing, so she doesn’t want to hear whatever cheap advice he has in an effort to cheer her up. Morty doesn’t, per say. He confesses he is a Morty from another dimension, pointing to the grave from “Rick Potion No.9” where his and Rick’s corpse is buried for proof. He states nobody is born on purpose and no one is special. Eventually they’ll all die, so why not live for what they have, because it won’t matter in the long run. Morty comforts Summer and asks her to stay and watch TV with them.
Beth is moping in the kitchen, drunk off wine as she watches her alternate self. She may be a successful surgeon, but Alternate Beth is a lonely woman with multiple pet birds. Elsewhere, the rest of the Smiths is watching Movie Star Jerry having a mental breakdown. Down to his underwear and hopped up on drugs, Movie Star Jerry runs from the police on a moped as he makes his way to Successful Surgeon Beth’s house. There, he confesses how much he hates his famed life, wishing he had married Beth instead and had the baby. Every one of the Smiths watching is shocked. Beth, too saw the whole thing from the goggles. Heartfelt, she tearfully runs to Jerry where they make up. Their love life may not be perfect, but they’re very much a family. Rick asks Morty and Summer if they want to watch more Ball Fondlers. Relieved, the kids agree.
The stinger ends with all the Smiths watching a news channel hosted by hamsters living between the buttcheeks of humans. The family has a lot of questions on that one, frustrating Rick who just wants to watch TV. He takes the family to said dimension so they can ask all the asinine questions they want. The Smiths excuses it as a family vacation. Even Rick, previously grumpy, enjoys himself at the end.