Risotto Groupon

Status: One-shot Character
First Appearance: “The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy”
Voice Actor: Clancy Brown

Risotto Groupon was once a King. He ruled the lands until someone usurped his throne using weapons supplied by Rick. Now he’s just a lowly assistant manager to a commercial resort known for its Immortality Field. Risotto secretly built a rebellion with his people – also employees within the resort – with revenge in mind. He will kill Rick Sanchez.

Opportunity came a-knockin’ when Rick and Jerry took a trip to the resort. Risotto privately asked Jerry to lure Rick into the Whirly Dirly roller coaster ride. There’s a point during the ride where the coaster would race just outside the Immortality Field, leaving Rick vulnerable long enough to be assassinated. Jerry was incredulous; he may have issues with his father-in-law, but he refused to blooden his hands. Risotti was enough of a gentleman to respect Jerry’s wishes and left him be. That would have been the end of it, but Rick kept undermining Jerry’s strained marriage. He spitefully lured Rick into the Whirly Dirly, but changed his mind at the last second when Rick admitted his part in the divorce.

After Risotto missed his chance to kill Rick the first time, he reunited with him and Jerry aboard a space cruise ship. Risotto only wanted Rick, so he told Jerry to go home. Jerry protested in a pathetic bid to gain some level of importance, but Risotto condescendingly told him off, citing him as nothing more than a bland, unfulfilled man who would never amount to anything. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back; Jerry pathetically attempted to stop Risotto from killing Rick. He succeeded long enough to distract Risotto, causing him to miss Rick and shot the Temporal Shield instead, exposing the three to a nearby black hole. The sheer might of its vacuum warped time and space, forcing Risotto to undergo a trippy, profound journey into the mind. What lasted minutes felt like an eternity. Having seen what no mere mortal could comprehend on their own, Risotto wondered if getting revenge would have been worth it. Unfortunately for him, that hesitation afforded Rick enough time to kill him on the spot.

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