Status: One-Shot Characters
First Appearance: “Get Schwifty”
Voice: Justin Roiland
It started out like any other day: unassuming and normal. Earth was just doing its own thing until a giant, floating head flew by. The sheer size of the alien shifted the Earth’s gravitational force, causing untold, apocalyptic damage to the planet. With a loud, booming voice, it vaguely demanded the residences to do one thing and one thing only:
“SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.”
Humans panic and governments react. The Smith neighbors and community members all gather in a church to make sense of this enormous creature. It is Principal Vagina who provides a solution: he proclaims all religion is wrong and that they should worship the floating head as their new God. Thus with agreement and influence from other people, Vagina creates the Headism cult religion.
Rick, having been around the block, knows exactly what it is though. Taking Morty along, they teleport to the Pentagon and inform the President and his employees that the threat they’re facing is the Cromulons. These creatures travel the galaxy seeking planets to challenge them into performing a hit pop song. The President is easily convinced and provides Rick and Morty with the necessary equipment needed to perform said song. As crazy as it sounds, the plan works and the Cromulon seem content…
…until it zaps Earth to their dimension to compete with other captured planets ala Battle of the Bands. The Cromulons is a nasty species; if a planet so much as protests, their world gets blown up. When General Nathan tries to defend Earth via missiles (that does painfully little), Earth is almost disqualified. They send a plasma ray to destroy Earth until Ice-T blocks its path, giving time for Rick and Morty to perform another hit song. This placates the Cromulons and they declare Earth the winner.
Aside from another friendly reminder that Earth is but a speck in the often chaotic universe, this was probably the Cromulon’s highest rated show ever.